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I've been doing Crossfit three times a week since mid-October. (Except for the last week of November where I said "fuck it" and skipped the entire thing because my arms were weaker than a Congressman's excuses in a gay bar bathroom and I just wanted to rest.) I have Thoughts. Mostly I have a lot of whining about how much everything sucks, but Thoughts as well.

Deep thoughts, indeed. )

Not gonna lie, though, I'm jumping ship to a better robot body once those become available.
azarias: (Default)
Post-facto author's note: Written for my very first Yuletide, back in 2006. This started life as an excruciatingly long joke about Starbucks. Fortunately that stopped. It was also intended to be the first of four or five fics about Apollo and Midnighter facing inappropriate slash cliches, with this as the "sex pollen" entry. Others were to include "aliens made them do it," "soulbonds," and "pretending to be gay." Honestly, the soulbonds one is still funny, so there's a nonzero chance I'll finish it some day.

Title: GNARGH Means I Love You
Author: [personal profile] azarias
Pairing: Apollo/Midnighter
Wordcount: 1,400
Warnings: Those doughnuts will never recover. NSFW language.

Summary: Immediately post-Revolutions, Apollo and Midnighter work out their relationship issues while battling fuckzombies in Seattle.

GNARGH Means I Love You )
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Title: Film Studies
Author: [personal profile] azarias
Pairing: Nick/Danny
Wordcount: 4,000
Warnings: Several pillows met a grisly fate while constructing a scale model of this fic.
Notes: This was written for Yuletide 2007. I think I'll let the original note stand. As is becoming habit, I couldn't have done this without M_Butterfly. She's been fantastic to the point she pretty much deserves co-writer credit. It was she who looked at my panicked "OH CRAP I SIGNED UP FOR PLANETARY AND I'M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO WRITE PLANETARY FIC" and responded, "So, have you seen Hot Fuzz?". And that's the story of how this fic got written. Thanks also to Jemisard and to CristinAnne, who do a wonderful job not seeming bothered by being grabbed half an hour before the upload deadline and told "Hello I need a readover please help omg headsplodey."

Summary: Danny has a Plan.

Film Studies )
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Post-facto author's note: This was written as a more or less immediate reaction to Blood and Sand episode 7. You know, that episode. I was fine with everyone dying. I wasn't fine with passive dying, in place of the roaring rampage of revenge the subject deserved. A lot of the background for this fic has since been jossed by Gods of the Arena, but I'm not particularly motivated to change it. My greatest regret is that I don't have a vocabulary foul enough to do the fandom justice, hence why this is my only entry.

Though, IDK, maybe I'll write a short AU where they're in space or something. Space makes everything better.

Title: Journeyman
Author: [personal profile] azarias
Pairing: Barca/Pietros
Wordcount: 12,500
Warnings: By my calculations, I know precisely as much about ancient Rome as the show's writers do. This story mentions a number of very bad things, including slavery, rape, violence, genocide, and some pretty awful child harm; none of these actually happen in the story itself. Explicit sex, all of which is consensual. It all turned out much milder than canon, much to my disappointment.
Beta: [personal profile] vejiicakes, who did not so much beta as whap me over the head repeatedly with the Rod of Self-confidence.
Disclaimer: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

Summary: So Barca got his money from Ashur or wherever, and bought himself and Pietros free, and then ...

Journeyman )
azarias: (Default)
title: Citizen's Arrest
fandoms: The Authority, due South
genre: drama, humor, slash
length: about 11,300 words
warnings: language, adult themes
author's notes: In case you're familiar with one canon but not the other, here's a handy pocket guide. Thanks to [personal profile] jemisard and [profile] rahneregina for beta and sanity checks.

summary: When Fraser arrests the Midnighter, Ray Kowalski knows this won't end well. What he doesn't count on is the situation becoming personal.

Citizen's Arrest )
azarias: (Default)
A pocket guide to Citizen's Arrest, in case you've seen one canon but not the other.

So, these people. )

One day, everyone takes a lunch break at the same time.

Citizen's Arrest
azarias: (Default)
Oh dear god, it's been a year and a half since that first post. Well this is embarrassing. Please don't mind the cobwebs while I find where I stored the broom.
azarias: (Default)
Yeah. *waves hands* I'll be setting this thing up eventually. It took me two weeks to click the "activate account" link in my email. If you find me here feel free to ... friend me, or whatever it's called.


I'm not sure the last time I updated my LJ, either. I won't be saying anything much here for a while.

I haven't slept in a long time. How are you?
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